Preventing your Preteens or Teens from Lying.

One morning it was raining, so I allowed my 12 year old daughter to take my recently purchased umbrella. I explained that I had just bought it and expected her to be responsible and make sure she brought it home after school. That day she claimed to have forgotten it in her locker at school, I thought, "No biggie". I told her the next morning not to forget to bring it home and she said, with promise, "Ok mom". That day a friend of mine who lives only two blocks away was having some problems, so my fiance and I began our journey to her house. We got to the end of our street where my daughters bus stop is and all of a sudden my fiance says, "wow, whose umbrella is that"? To my surprise I saw my newly purchased umbrella hiding in a small bush. I couldn't believe it, definitely not in a locker. My fiance convinced me that she must have been talking with her friend and simply sat it down and forgot about it when she got on the bus....maybe, I thought. So I decided to hide my umbrella when I got home and see what this beautiful 12 year old of mine had to say.

I personally was thinking she had sat it down and was embarrassed to be seen with moms big flowery umbrella, so my  fiance and I tossed around what we thought she would say when she got home from school. He was convinced it was an accident and I was convinced she left it on purpose and was irresponsible, she is 12 years old. Time came and here came my daughter and with no surprise, she didn't have my umbrella (of 'course I had it hid by this time). "Hi honey, how was school", I said, "It was good mom", so I then proceeded to ask the inevitable question, "So where is my umbrella baby girl?". Zeth, my daughter replies with, "Mom I ran into (friends name here) and she asked to borrow it on my way home, cause she thought it might rain". I can't explain how my heart felt, my daughter doesn't lie and I was so disappointed words can't describe it. 

At this time I pulled out the umbrella and my 12 year old girl started crying. She knew what she did was wrong, keep in mind this child has only been caught lying about very few things in her 12 years of life. She explained that she left it the morning before on accident and forgot all about it, my fiance won that one, but she was scared I would be mad cause it was gone when she got off the bus. She knows lying is wrong and I 'don't think' she has ever gotten away with it, I was 12 years old once too so I can honestly say that I have been there done that. The famous words of my child is, "How did you know mom". LOL. Zeth was grounded and missed out on her skate night and had 5 days of reading after chores, harsh, I don't think so. Even if it is a little white lie it is a lie and I am not raising her to be that kind of woman. NOW THE TECHNIQUE TO PREVENT YOUR PRETEEN OR TEEN FROM LYING:

After Zeth completed her grounding she was told this; if you are ever caught lying to me again this is what will happen. The next school dance that comes up, your step father and I are going to get T-shirts that say, "ZETHS PARENTS", we will go to the dance with you and you will be required to stand by us the entire night. Your step father and I are going to dance our butts off. Can you say "sprinkler dance or running man"....

Needless to say my 12 years old has promised to never lie again even if she knows she will get in trouble she said that she knows I am not lying and she never wants us to go to a dance with her, so therefore we have nothing to worry about because she will never lie to us again.....

Hope this helps and works for you too......